Who are victims of stalking?
Anyone can be stalked, including College students from any economic, ethnic, or religious group. A few victims are picked at random by their stalker, but most stalking victims know their stalker, usually having had some type of present or past relationship.
The perpetrator can be an intimate partner or former partner, classmate, roommate, or other acquaintance. A victim can be stalked for several days or for many years. The stalker’s actions can also affect family, friends, and coworkers. Stalking and criminal harassment can be difficult to distinguish. Talk to one of the resources listed in this pamphlet for help.
How do I know if it’s stalking?
"Every time I went to my Political Science class, this guy would sit next to me. He kept trying to talk to me even though I told him I wasn’t interested. Then he started showing up everywhere—outside my residence hall, in the Campus Center, even in the library, and threatening me if I don’t go out with him. Am I being paranoid?"
"I dated this woman a couple of times but then wasn’t interested in seeing her again. She said someone would get hurt if I broke up with her. “If I can’t have you, no one else can,” she told me. We weren’t in contact for a while, but now she keeps sending me e-mails. Sometimes I don’t answer her. I changed my address but she found out what the new one was. I wish she would stop."
"Two weeks ago someone left me an anonymous “secret admirer” note in the library in one of my books while I was studying. Last week I was studying in the campus center and got up to stretch. When I came back, I found a cup of coffee with a note, “I am always watching you.” This morning there were flowers outside my room. My friends don’t know who is doing this and it feels creepy!"
The absence of a threat means that this last example does not meet the legal definition of stalking. However it might have the same impact. If you or someone you know is experiencing a similar situation, please get help by contacting Campus Safety
If you feel frightened or uncomfortable about someone’s specific behavior, pay attention to your instincts! Seek help.
What can a stalking victim do?
Talk to one of the resources listed in this brochure for help.
Report the stalking to the Emmanuel College Campus Safety, or the Campus Safety in your area, and follow their advice.
Inform others close to you (family, friends, residential life staff, co-workers) about the stalking.
Do your best to safely avoid all contact with the stalker.
Keep a journal or log of all incidents connected to the stalking.
Keep any letters, packages, taped telephone messages, or e-mails received from the stalker.
Provide Campus Safety with photographs of the suspect, a description, and other information.
Inform the Office of the Dean of Students and learn about other options including a Stay Away Order/Campus Contract, safe housing and privacy requests at the College.
Stay Away Orders/Campus Contacts
There are several types of restraining orders that can be obtained through the Campus Safety.
• A restraining order (209A) is a court order issued by a judge that requires your past or present boyfriend, girlfriend, roommate, or blood relative to stop abusing you or face criminal penalties. There are a number of requirements that need to be met in order for a victim to apply for a criminal restraining order.
• A civil stay away order is a type of restraining order, available to someone who is being abused or stalked by a non partner/roommate/relative. Please call the Emmanuel College Campus Safety Department for more information about either order.
If you have been the victim of rape or sexual assault, you may want to contact the Office of Counseling for confidential support, counseling, and referral services. Victims of rape and sexual assault often feel confused and alone, and they often question how to tell family and friends about the incident, or whether they should at all. They also experience a variety of strong emotions and/or experience physical problems, such as stomach problems or sleep disturbances. Sometimes, these symptoms don’t happen until a long time after the event. Regardless of when the incident occurred, the Office of Counseling can help.